Walking a mile in someone's moccasins would sure be helpful! Especially if that person had just experienced the death of a loved one. Taking their footsteps would give us an advantage in knowing how to "be" with them. But each pair of moccasins has been uniquely worn, and no matter how hard we try, we won't know how that pair feels to its true owner. If the shoe fits, wear it. If not, ask!I have the priviledge of learning each and every day from some very special children and their families. For young children, experiences such as being bullied because their loved one died, are common. Grieving teenagers are often annoyed by peers pretending to be supportive, or saying, "I know how you feel." And since I fit into the adult category, I will share from my own experience...unless you have E.S.P., you'll never be able to figure out what we want because at any given time, we could be dazed, confused or we'll change our minds!
I believe that empowering those that are grieving is one of the greatest means of support you can offer. Throw away those assumptions! Ask. Listen. Be present. You might just be surprised at how different those moccasins are than what you've been taught, experienced, or expected.
It makes me laugh when toddlers close their eyes to make someone go away!
It makes me sad when people that have experienced the death of a loved one are treated with the same naivety. Together, we can do a better job of supporting those in mourning. Will you please join me? My moccasin's feel amazing and your's can too!
